One. Don’t put yourself in a position you can’t leave.
“Why are you coming to my apartment when you caught me in a weak moment knowing that I told you I am not ready to have sex yet?” If you don’t ant to have this argument later especially with a Christian don’t do it! Remind your partner and hopefully they will do the same for you, “Remember we agreed no sex” then back off. Avoid going anywhere that you know you will feel comfortable enough to have sex that includes outdoors for you nature lovers!
Two. When feeling pressured, don’t feel like you have to do it.
“I have to have sex with him because he will most likely have sex with that cute co-worker of his…I want to have sex with her because I don’t want her having sex with that younger more attractive looking guy at her school.”
Three. Fight or argue, if necessary, if a man or woman tries to force you to do something you don’t want to do.
“Didn’t I make myself clear the first time…I am not ready for sex?” If you put yourself in a position that he or she wants to physically assault you because of your rejection then don’t take them beating you up, fight back if you can and call the police! However, remember this in your future relationships, don’t tease or joke about sex if you really don’t want to do it.
Four. Be clear about what you want and don’t want to happen.
It’s unfortunate but some people just don’t let others know they are not interested in being intimate let alone have sex. They smile, tease, joke, even play sexy music and then act as if you are offending them because you want to touch them. If you aren’t interested in sex then don’t make a man or woman feel like you are. It won’t keep a person who sincerely wants you away just because you aren’t interested today; most likely they will try you again another time. However, be sure you are not leading them on with those sweet, sexy comments and that “look” – you know the bedroom eye look !
Five. Avoid dressing in a provocative way that contradicts your beliefs.
“So you call yourself a Christian…” that statement is used when a woman or man of the faith says or does something that they know go against the word of God. You will look like a hypocrite if you have a faith and you are suppose to be evangelizing to lost souls! If you look lost, what can you tell anyone? If you don’t want to be treated like a prostitute then wear skirts and shorts with some length, in other words cover more of your skin. If you don’t want a man or woman staring at your breast or for a man “his front or back packages” don’t wear things that reveal either. What you attract is what you most likely will get!
Six. Walk away from heated arguments about sex and seriously consider ending the relationship until you have a handle on what you really want from the relationship.
You promised to have sex on his birthday, he promised to have sex with you on your anniversary date – whatever?! The truth is no one should be having sex with anyone who makes a big deal about what day they should be having sex. People’s moods change like wind especially hormonal women who suffer with PMS or menopause and men with a midlife crisis – lighten up! Also, consider this if you commit to this woman or man sexually you are also committing to their hormonal issues, crazy episodes, and whatever else that isn’t handsome or pretty.
Seven. Don’t compromise by lying to your partner then sneaking around behind their back.
“I love you and I will wait for as long as you want me to!” Are you sure? Sometimes big booty Brenda and sexy Sergio might be what you think the doctor ordered. However, don’t be mistaken, the great Physician doesn’t send you “bad” boy or “bad” girl gifts. If you risk sneaking behind the girl or guy’s back you claim you love, there might be the possibility that he or she is ready for marriage and now you have just packed up an extra suitcase that doesn’t belong with you or your future partner and eventually what is alive in your suitcase will come out and cause havoc or stink causing death in your relationship due to the mental and physical issues you have yet to get over from your past and of course, everyone will know about it.
Eight. Avoid talking to ignorant people about your deeply personal issues about sex.
You don’t know what kind of sexual history your confidant has, yet you want to find out if holding out is better, what kind of sexual positions will increase your chances of having a baby, and other questions about sex – the guy down the street is not your doctor and the woman at the church doesn’t know how deep your problems really are and she may be battling with some things herself, worst case scenario go to God for yourself and keep your sexual business between you and he. However, let’s say you are thinking some crazy thoughts and you “just want to go out and have sex with anyone” as one man stated. Then you need to seek a doctor or counselor that can help you diagnose your problem. It could be nothing more than fluids in your brain that are not completely balanced or some things you are putting into your body that isn’t beneficial (such as drugs and porno.) There is medication, classes, books, CDs, and DVDs for major sexual issues and it doesn’t hurt to exercise and eat healthy too!
Nine. Don’t drink or do drugs with people interested in having sex with you.
Why take a chance and wake up the next morning naked and hurt in your private places? You should never be so intoxicated that you don’t know what is going on around you.
Ten. Avoid dating people who have told you that they want to have sex with you while you rather not.
Stop wasting time dating if you know that the people you are attracted to don’t respect nor are they interested in your boundaries. They like what they see, so they want sex, are you going to give it up one day, three days, a week, a month, three months or even a year later, yes or no? Ask yourself a bold question, what this man or woman must do for me in order to reach a decision that I want to have sex with this person. As much as we would like to think we don’t have to do anything to get sex, yes we do! For starters, we have to be willing to commit, honest, kind, generous (with other things besides…well you know what I mean), a good listener, attractive, intelligent, and friendly. There are many other things we can list here too, but you get the idea.
In summary, use your time on this earth wisely and avoid some unnecessary heartache for yourself by getting matched up with someone who is your equal–someone who respects you and your boundaries. Too often, relationships are ending too soon because people are freely giving away their bodies, without allowing both body and mind to work together to protect one’s spirit.
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